One day, when her boyfriend was out of town, two of Susie's friends, Adam and Charlie, decided to plan a scheme to show Susie the consequences of her lying. They told her friends, boyfriend and even her parents so that everyone was in on the scheme.
The two boys went over to Susie's to hang out, eat pizza and watch a movie. After the movie ended, Adam, asked to go to the bathroom. While he was gone, Charlie set the plan into action. He casually moved closer to Susie while telling a joke. Susie laughed at his punchline and he quickly put his hand on her leg. Susie looked at him quizzically, seeing as Charlie was one of Susie's boyfriend's good friends. At that moment, Adam walked back in the room. Seeing them sitting so close, Adam furrowed his brow but quickly looked away.
Thinking nothing of it, Susie went about the rest of the week. When her boyfriend returned she happily went to his house for his welcome home party. After a few minutes, Susie's boyfriend came up to her and said quietly, "I heard what happened with you and Charlie while I was gone."
Confused, Susie opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. "The night you two watched a movie?" he continued, "Adam told me he walked in on you and Charlie."
Susie quickly looked at Adam and Charlie. "What are you guys talking about?" She exclaimed, "Nothing happened between us!"
"I know what I saw," Adam continued, "It just didn't seem right now to tell him."
"I have no idea what you're saying!" Susie said hysterically. Now everyone was staring at her and she turned bright red. She was so confused, how had this happened? Her and Charlie were just friends, everyone knew that. But now, as she looked around the room, she felt her friends' skepticism and judgement. Tears filled her eyes as she turned away. Why hadn't Charlie said anything?
She looked desperately at Charlie, hoping he would tell everyone the truth. Nobody is believing me… She thought.
After hushed whispers between her friends and some awkward silences, Charlie finally stepped forward.
"She's right," he said, "Nothing happened."
Relieved, Susie looked to her boyfriend hoping he'd believe her now.
"This was all set up to show you what your little white lies do to us," Susie's boyfriend said, "We're tired of your little lies and you don't realize that it hurts when you don't tell the truth."
Shocked and embarrassed, Susie looked at her friends standing before her. They all knew about this she thought. I can't believe I've been lying for no reason.
"I never realized how harmful lying can be," Susie tearfully said, "I promise to not do it again."
Susie was truthful from that day on, and she realized how good it felt to be honest.
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Author's note. This story is roughly based on Susannah from Bible Women. In the story, Susannah is accused of being with another man while her husband is away. However, in the original story, Susannah isn't a liar, she is just wrongly accused and nobody believes her. She is accused by two elderly men who have bad intentions. Before being sentenced to death, an angel comes and saves Susannah by questioning their judgement and revealing that the elders were lying. I know my version strays from the original, but I wanted there to be a reason why Susannah (or Susie) is accused of cheating. I came up with the idea that her friends are trying to teach her a lesson and that's why they thought up this scheme. In the end I wanted Susie to be redeemed and learn a lesson.
Bibliography. "Susannah" from the Bible Women Unit in King James Bible (1611). Web Source.
I was unfamiliar with the original story you based your retelling on, but I definitely get where you were coming from with the theme of the retelling. I think it was creative to retell the story in a way that explained why Susannah was a target for these men’s accusations. I also like that your retelling allowed Susannah to be redeemed in the end, much like original allows Susannah to be saved and redeemed by the angel.
ReplyDeleteI always like stories that have a moral reasoning and your story definetly had a strong message to convey. Sometimes we do not realize and are blind to how hurtful our actions can. Suzie never had the intention of hurting any of her friends and family with her little white lies, but her friends scheme aimed to show her how her lies do not affect just her. When her friend was lieing about what happened she was furious because her loyalty to her boyfriend was being questioned by a lie someone else was saying. Suzie then saw how her white lies affect others. I like the moral of the story and how you strayed from the original story but kept the same principles.
ReplyDeleteYou really put a good lesson into this story by creating a reason for the cheating. I think everyone can sometimes find themselves telling those little white lies and it is a good reminder to us that they are unnecessary and can cause more drama! I like that her friends helped her understand that, because it seemed like she was really getting into a bad habit of telling those lies. I did not know the original story, but I think you put a really good twist on it. Overall, I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI think that you did a really good job of retelling this story; you were able to kind of put a funny spin on it so I as a reader appreciated that! I think that there is a great lesson to be learned from this story that it is so important to never lie because then people will not believe you when there is actually something wrong.
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